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(excerpted from Magical Living. Copyright © 2001 by Bob Makransky,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. All rights reserved.)
Go back in your mind’s eye to every scene in your life when you were hurt by other people. You do this like a normal daydream or fantasy, but instead of trying to capture a feeling of glory,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], vindication, self-righteousness, etc. (as is done in normal daydreaming),[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you try to capture the feeling of hurt that you felt at that time. Watch the scene of that person who is you being rejected and needing love, and give love to that person. Talk to the you in the visualization, call to him or her: “There, there, cheer up! You may have been rejected, but you’re still a worthwhile person. You’ll go on living and breathing, and in time you’ll find true love. After all, I love you. I really do!”
When the crowd taunted and crucified Jesus, he felt deeply, deeply hurt. He felt exactly the same way we would feel if there was a crowd of people taunting us and pouring their self-hatred upon us, and we had done nothing to deserve it. Jesus was not such an exalted being that he no longer had a capacity to feel hurt. On the contrary,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he was an exalted being precisely because he let himself feel the hurt directly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], instead of blocking his pain with self-pity (apathy or anger).
Say this using your own words and sentiments, and mean what you say. Give yourself all the sympathy and compassion that you were denied at that time. Let yourself feel sad for that person who is you. And when you let yourself feel sad for yourself, you’ll also find yourself feeling sad for the people who hurt you.
No matter how enlightened we may become, we never get to a place where hurt no longer hurts. There’s no way that hurt ever does anything except feel BAD. But if someone hurts us and we let ourselves feel the hurt directly, then that’s that; that’s the way the cookie crumbles. We feel bad for a little while, and then the feeling passes and we go on to something else.
This is because pain is not something which is external (imposed from without), but rather arises from within ourselves. The external situation which causes pain is but a symbol for something going on inside us on an emotional level. To consider our pain as something detached from ourselves is to refuse responsibility for our pain. To blame someone else for our pain,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], to try to make someone else take responsibility for feeling our pain, is futile. Only by feeling our pain directly, looking within ourselves for the source of our pain, are we taking responsibility for it, and thereby putting ourselves in a position to move beyond it. We do this by finding a way to heal our own wounds, instead of expecting or demanding other people to heal them for us. Other people can’t heal us; they’re in too much pain themselves to have any extra love to spare. We have to be willing to take complete responsibility for our own healing.
This kind of hurt seems very unjust and unfair; and it is unjust and unfair. Although it is a meager consolation,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], this kind of “unmerited” hurt is indeed the result of karma that we ourselves set into motion in other lifetimes and realities. If we feel that it is unjust that we should have to suffer now for sins committed in other lifetimes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that’s too bad; but it’s life, and there’s no use complaining about it. Complaining is what turns it into self-pitying hurt.
To be able to love others and to freely receive their love in return, we have to be ready to be rejected and hurt by them. We have to be willing to face this directly, instead of preparing ourselves in advance, bracing ourselves, taking out insurance in advance against hurt. We have to be able to forgive people for the bad things they do to us rather than get into a tizzy about it – forgive them because they don’t know what they’re doing.
Of course, this is a lot easier said than done, but the key to it is being willing to feel hurt: not angry and vindictive, not blithely pretending we’re not hurt, not bitterly wallowing in self-pity over past hurt, not setting up ground rules and strictures in relationships to guard against the possibility of future hurt; but just plain old feel hurt. If we can truly open ourselves up to hurt, then we’ll automatically open ourselves up to love.
When other people try purposely to hurt us, it hurts. There’s no use pretending that it doesn’t hurt,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or getting angry at them in return. Those responses (apathy or anger) cover our feelings of sad hurt – keep us from feeling the hurt directly by substituting thought forms of self-pity for the direct perception of pain. These are our protections (closing up or striking back) when other people deliberately try to hurt us, and they are effective blocks against the feeling of sad hurt. However, they also block out the feeling of true love.
Author's Bio:
Where self-pitying hurt is the natural consequence of possessive love, sad hurt is the doorway to true love. Sad hurt is the hurt which other people make us feel in spite of our having reached out to them joyously and in good faith. Sad hurt is puzzling hurt (as opposed to self-righteous hurt). Where self-pitying hurt can easily be avoided by listening to and respecting other people’s feelings, sad hurt is unavoidable – it’s part and parcel of the human condition. Sad hurt is the hurt which other people lay on us purposely – the product of their self-hatred which they project onto us as scapegoats. Sad hurt is the hurt we feel when other people are just using us as an excuse to pity themselves.
By Bob Makransky
See all Articles by Bob MakranskyGet Updates on IntimacyGet Updates on Bob Makransky Average: 4 Your rating: None Average: 4 (2 votes) Tweet
Whenever we make our happiness depend on something which someone else does or doesn’t do, we are just asking that person to hurt us. This kind of hurt is easily avoided by being respectful of other people’s space: their limits, their right to have feelings of their own, including the right to reject us, if they so desire, without our resenting, denying it, or taking it as a personal affront.
Sad hurt implies forgiveness – the sadness is as much for those who hurt us as it is for ourselves. Sadness,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not anger, is the true feeling we share with the people who hurt us. Anger separates us from them, whereas sadness unites us to them – we are one with them in sadness.
This visualization is not so different from what we do when we indulge ourselves in angry fantasies of the people who have hurt us – telling them off, or delighting when they feel remorse for what they’ve done to us. But instead of using the visualization to stoke our self-pity, we use it to heal ourselves by feeling good about who we are.
If we’re going to be open to other people’s love, we have to be open to their hurt as well. Vulnerability is not a door that can be opened and closed selectively, to let some feelings through and not others. To protect ourselves from feeling hurt is to prevent ourselves from feeling love.
There are two kinds of hurt: self-pitying hurt and sad hurt. Self-pitying hurt is the kind of hurt we feel on purpose, so that we’ll have a good excuse to wallow in self-pity. Whenever we are self-righteously indignant at someone else’s behavior,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we are indulging in self-pitying hurt. We seek self-pitying hurt when we expect or demand something from another person which that person is not offering freely. Whenever we believe that other people (e.g. our parents, spouse, or children) owe us anything; whenever we try to bribe, wheedle, or coerce other people; to try to make them feel guilty if they don’t come across for us; to impose our own desires on them beyond what they are comfortable with; then what we are actually seeking from them is their rejection, which we can conveniently blame on them.
But if we are afraid to feel hurt directly; if we reject the feeling of hurt by substituting apathy or anger for it, by trying to dominate or control relationships, by rolling over and playing the victim right off the top, or by avoiding intimacy altogether; then we are in fact grabbing onto our hurt, hugging it to our bosoms, and making it the centerpiece of all our relationships. And all there can ever be is hurt, because we leave no room for love to get in anywhere – we’ve got every chink stuffed.
Apathy and anger aren’t really painkillers,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they’re just pain deferrers. All they do is postpone the pain. The only way to really get through pain, to get over it and past it, is by feeling it directly. Of course, this is the last thing which people who are in pain want to hear: “Haven’t I suffered enough?” they ask. “And it’s not even my fault!” But the truth is that the amount of pain which people feel (or repress into apathy or anger) is the precise amount of pain which they must yet feel to disentangle themselves from it and put the pain behind them.
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While you may feel that the time and energy you spend in this process is worth more than a free presentation, if you are contemplating a career in public speaking, then the practice you will get will be worth more than you can imagine. In addition, there is every possibility that you will receive other invitations; and,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], those invitations may very well pay you a fee.
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Excellent training is required for you to become a good professional,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Search engine optimization is a field where you need to have a lot of skills,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Basic understanding of the computers is also essential.
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Online learning of SEO techniques is also practiced by a lot of people. You cannot say online learning is not a best method,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Online learning can also be practiced,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. But choose an institute which is having very good credibility. If you learn from a good institute you will have more exposure to the latest techniques.
It would be even better if you choose an institute which has placement services. It is not a class room learning process you need to have a lot of practical experimenting and performing. Choose the institute which is having good experience in the field. Good professional advice is required to learn the techniques behind it.
Never expect that soon after training you will help a highly paid job. In this field you have to prove your talent and skills. Once you have a good reputation in the industry then you will be getting salary which you never imagine. When comparing the amount you pay for getting the training and your salary after obtaining the training you will understand the scope of this career.
Search engine optimization is one of the best careers now available,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. The amount you will be paid after establishing in this industry will be a great amount. But you have to prove your skills then only you can sustain in this field.
If you have an interest in the field then you can easily learn the techniques. But apart from the syllabus you can search the internet and study the latest trends. You can get information from the experienced professionals. There are a lot to study from experience. Have patience and strive for excellence then surely you will get the best out of SEO training.
By Sajmi Salim
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With most businesses investing great amounts in information technology for their development and success,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is no surprise that there is a great need for constant IT support. While large corporations can afford to have their own IT support group for managing all their IT needs,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is not so with small businesses. Firms offering IT support London are hence in great demand to provide this support externally to small businesses. However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], before entering into an IT support contract with such firms,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is important to consider the following factors:
• Duration of the Contract: When signing an IT support contract with IT support London firms,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is important to understand the exact period for which you have signed the contract. This knowledge will help you plan and phase out your IT needs such that it actually enhances your business success. It is important to note that some contracts can be extended under certain conditions even after the duration is complete. Make sure that you have similar provisions in your contract to ensure continuity of services provided.
• Services Offered: This is extremely important when signing an IT support contract as it lays down the exact nature of support that the firm will extend. Make sure that your chosen firm is capable of providing all the support that you need for taking your business to the next level. Moreover,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is important to make sure that all the services offered are listed clearly in the contract.
• Termination of Contract: Another factor that you should ensure in your contract is the reasons for termination of contract. In certain cases,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is seen that companies and IT support London firms are not well matched with regard to their needs and services offered. Under these circumstances, it is possible that they need to terminate their contract before the duration of the contract is completed. Conditions under which these contracts can be terminated should be listed clearly.
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By Julian Jordan
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Where our programming truly fails is when we focus on the failures instead of the successes. Failures help us auto-correct, but successes is what helps us determined our abilities, strengths,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and powers, this is when we truly flourish.
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If your addiction was all a barrel of laughs, then you would never change,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and most likely die in a puddle of vomit.
This is very relevant to the field of addiction and substance abuse. If you felt no pain, then how would you know when it was time to change your behaviours?
So how do you use failure to get what you want out of life, how can failure work for you? Don’t label it as good or bad, just identify it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and correct yourself. Dwell on yoursuccess and achievements from your past and more success will manifest in this realm of fundamental consciousness. Outflow = Inflow. Check what you are putting out energetically and you can predict what will come back in.
How Does Failure Work For You? ©
This is exactly the same when it comes to failure. Failures are experiences for you to be able to auto correct your course. To auto-correct like the baseball player who hits 3 out of 10 balls and is considered a premier athlete.
What’s a common batting average in baseball? Let’s say 300 is a solid average. This means that a Professional baseball player, an elite athlete who earns millions of dollars a year to play a sport they love,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], FAILS 7 out of 10 times.
We all like failure as much as we like a punch in the face.
The good news is one thing follows failure for certain every time, and yes you might strike out a few times to get there.
Using Failure To Get What You Want In Life
Is it uncomfortable? Yes, absolutely, but it’s meant to be,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], just like PAIN is meant to be; uncomfortable. Where we. as a modern day society. have gone wrong is we have learned to JUDGE PAIN as BAD! Pain is not bad. Human biology has a built in red light system, a warning system that Medical Doctors call symptoms. We regard these symptoms as Bad. Headaches, fever,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], chills, sore bones and muscles but in reality these signals are for the benefit of the person. It’s a warning system for the person to take corrective action.
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We never ever flourish when we are focusing on the failures and in fact it corrupts our system. It deflates us, we loose confidence,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], self-esteem,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], self acceptance and when this happens, it’s very hard to get back on track or to re-program,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if you will.
So how does failure work for you in the addiction world? It tells you when enough is enough either through physical ailments, financial loss, relational upset, and Family Intervention.
When I lecture on this subject, that you can use failure to get what you want in life, I hear the moans,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and some even look at me like I’ve grown another head.
Benjamin C. Rathorne (Professional Health Blogger)
Learning to use failure to get what you want in life is one of the most important tools one can ever learn in their lifetime, and the reason why is we fail way more than we succeed. By honing your awareness around what works for you and what doesn’t,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], what strengthens you over what weakens you is very important for your survival.
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Premature ejaculation is one of the commonly found health disorders characterized by occurrence of early ejaculation. If left untreated, persisting condition of PE can lead way to several relationship issues in future life.

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By William Gouge
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The use of images is very vast for different objects and purposes. Professionals in different fields have been using such things to make their work more meaningful. Getty images offer huge collection of image, illustrations and other digital media stuff for the professionals who ever remain in search of these. The people can get the benefit from this opportunity quite easily and the charges it takes are very much reasonable from all points of view. That is why more and more people and companies are now using its services after getting its membership. The raw material is obtained from it and then mold according to their demand. The workload is decreased in this way so they prefer to get on this website and make most of the stuff present there.
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You can also uninstall Bitdefender on your own, and fix problems without having too much expertise. Look on the Internet for some suitable uninstaller tool or enter the Control Panel of your system to remove it. Once removed the system becomes vulnerable towards viruses, spyware and malware, so you must take care of its protection.
If innovation interests you then have a look at the yet-to-come 2013 series of its security arsenals. Bitdefender Safepay is a cool feature for e-commerce websites’ owner and online shoppers, whose volume is taking an upward trend nowadays (as per Forrester Research in the US alone the online retail market is expected to hit $327 billion by 2016). Presence of ironclad Parental Control umbrella with easy-to-manage features to filter and block undesirable sites,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], words, or images, limit Internet usage,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], monitor online activities (record the addresses of websites and configure it to deliver warnings), etc. can help you to keep your kids safe against cyber risks. Autopilot is a buzz feature that keeps the protection always on. The vendor comes up with full support even if the situation has gone worst. With integrated Anti-Theft you no longer need to invest extra to keep the Windows or Android based devices safe against theft. Now, you can pinpoint miscreants on a map,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], SIM card sends you the notifications if he tries to make changes, you completely lock him out of the device, and you can even trigger an alarm on your stolen Android phone.
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For related issues, online antivirus support portals are just a click or phone call away. Experts can diagnose the system resources including event viewer, registry settings, task manager, etc. remotely to understand the background causes. If required, experts can remove Bitdefender software and reinstall it back as per developer’s specifications. They can also revitalize the performance of your machine by configuring the Windows Startup, removing unwanted stuffs, organizing the hard-disk, and removing viruses,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], spyware and malware, in case the system is infected.
The edition of computer safety has been revised and published many a time in the wake of emerging Internet threats. As the penetration of the Internet is taking depth so is the demand of Internet safety solutions. Fortunately,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a few enterprises have come with their best-in-class security products empowered by robust and stealthiest technologies. Let’s go with the Bitdefender review to have an insight of its latest technologies and features.
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Bachelor’s of Science in Nursing (BSN)
Have you ever wondered about the kind of degrees that are most in demand and most sought after by employers? Of course you have! In this article, we’ll talk about the five college degrees that are most sought after by employers.
The college dilemma…
Bachelor’s of Information Technology (IT) or Computer Science
Master’s in Business Administration (MBA)
Petroleum engineering
Chemical engineering
Aerospace engineering
Computer engineering
Biomedical engineering
At one point students had no option other than to attend a full-time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], brick and mortar college. However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the education industry has started to embrace technology. As a result,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], accredited colleges offering online degree programs have gained popularity. If, after careful introspection, you decide to pursue an education online,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], check up on the college’s accreditation first. Let’s take for example Independence University. Information about Independence University accreditation and student services can be found online easily,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which promotes transparency and honesty. Wherever you decide to go to college depends entirely upon your needs. Just make sure you do everything in your power to make sure the degree you hold will count.
Engineering is a broad field and gives you a chance to choose from among a variety of engineering professions. Engineering involves the practical application of science, mathematics, and logic so if you think your talents and skills fit the bill, consider an education in engineering. According to Pay Scale, some of the most high-paying fields in engineering are:
A master’s degree in business administration offers advancement opportunities and the flexibility to choose from a variety of job options in a career. An MBA helps you develop the skill to manage people more effectively,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], sharpens your critical and analytical abilities, and prepares you for leadership positions within an industry. Equipped with an MBA,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you can pursue employment within the following industries:
There is an ever-growing demand for registered nurses (RN) in our country. These numbers are likely to grow, since the number of patients will increase as the baby boomer generation ages. Whether you’re looking to kick-start your education or take your nursing career to the next level, a BSN makes a great choice. A BSN teaches RNs the business aspects of the healthcare industry in which they need to be skilled,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in order to take on management positions. Not only does it give RNs the chance to enhance their skills in general medicine,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but also a chance to specialize in an area that interests them the most. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], RNs can find employment in:
Tax analyst
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It would be difficult to imagine a world without computers and technology in this day and age, when almost everything depends on it. The need for IT and computer science professionals is apparent as the technology continues to evolve. With a bachelor’s degree in information technology or a related field,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you can work in industries such as:
Bachelor’s degree in accounting
No matter what the economy looks like,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], there is always going to be a need for an accountant. This is because accountants are needed by companies from the time they begin to operate to the point they decide to shut down. A bachelor’s degree in accounting makes you eligible to pursuejobs such as:
Healthcare
Finance and accounting
Energy and utilities
Products and services
Consulting
Manufacturing
Technology
Computer systems design and related services
Manufacturing
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Bachelor’s degree in engineering
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The key to success is using your actions to influence your attitude. When you discipline yourself to take the actions that you must take,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], your attitude will begin to come in line. Most of us in sales know what we need to do daily in terms of prospecting and lead follow-up. We know we need to take time to practice our skill or craft of sales. When we fail to do what we know we should do, our attitude is affected negatively. When we do what we know we should do,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], our attitude is affected positively. Your attitude and confidence will be thrust upward through disciplined action or activities.
If you are like most people,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you selected the first: your attitude influences your actions more. The rationale is that if you feel good or empowered,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you will do the actions that you must do. If you feel good and feel like doing what you must do,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that will control your actions. While feelings have an effect for most people, the true Champion Performers in life don’t let their feelings dictate whether they will be successful or not. The true Champion Performers don’t allow feelings to influence what needs to get done today.
If you have the right attitude in sales but don’t link that with the correct actions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you will receive limited results. If you have the right actions but have the wrong attitude when you are engaged in the actions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you will receive marginal results. Only by having both will you fulfill your full potential. I always ask people which one influences the other more. Does your attitude influence your actions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or do your actions influence your attitude? Take a moment and consider your response.
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In the end,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], your actions will influence your attitude more than your attitude will influence your actions.
The two A’s of success are Actions and Attitudes. You have to have both to achieve sustainable success in life. Having one without the other will only allow you to achieve a mild level of success. Having both will enable you to accomplish anything,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]!
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We all get 24 Hours in a day. So, how come some people get way more accomplished than others in the same amount of time? I am not referring to busy work, chores and things that are senseless.